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A journalist had done a story on from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"

A man has six children and is from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"

A husband and wife went to the from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"

A guy runs out of a Las from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident." The stranger says, "If you need two hundred dollars, what are you using to gamble with?" The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."

This day holds a lot of meaning from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children. I'll never forget that game of cards...

A little kid comes running into the from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says, "Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!" "Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said "I want to know the person you hate the most" The explorer said "That's gotta be my ex-wife. Why?" "I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever you wish for your ex-wife will get double the amount." "OK, I wish for a billion dollars" "Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion" "I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything" "Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish" The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with a stick and said "Ya see this stick, I'd like you to beat me half to death."

A guy is down on his luck from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." His wife say, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Carribean?" He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."

Husband What do you love most my from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
Husband: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body? Wife: Your sense of humor.

A rural Frenchman was on trial for from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot her instead of her lover, he replied, "Ah, m'sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a different man every week?"

A man was walking in the street from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?" A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed: "Come and bury my wife." "But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker. "I got married again," the man sobbed. "Oh," said the undertaker. "Congratulations."

A little girl and a little boy from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

In the midst of a veritable downpour from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and couldn't bear passing her by. He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, "There, little lady, that's done!" "Quiet," she ordered him. "You'll wake up my husband. He's taking a nap in the back seat."

Personally I think one of the greatest from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

What is the one thing that all from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married.

Whats the best way to get a from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.

Q What should you do if you from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again.

Q How are husbands like lawn mowersA from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers? A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.

One night Peter was home watching TV from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room and asked, "If I died, would you remarry?" Peter thought for a second then said "Yeah I guess I would". Then his the wife asked, "well would you have her as your golfing partner?" Peter replied, "yep I probably would do that too". "But surely you wouldn't give her my clubs?!", she cried. Peter looked at her and said, "Nah, shes left handed."

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding from Flashcomment Marriage jokes Jokes
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well," explained the husband, "it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule." "We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke: 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse, hopped down off the beast, and shot the mule dead." "I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, 'Thats once.'"